Noor Hindi is currently pursuing her MFA in poetry through the NEOMFA. Her micro-chapbook Diary of a Filthy Woman is forthcoming from Porkbelly Press in 2018. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Jet Fuel Review, Diode Poetry, Whiskey Island Magazine, Flock Literary Journal, and Foundry. Hindi is also a poetry reader for BOAAT Journal. She writes for The Devil Strip Magazine. Check out her poetry blog at nervouspoodlepoetry.com.
Hunger Drips from the Body of the Filthy Woman
And even now, my shadow is a mouth
of mud stained teeth
and a swelling tongue.
As a child I was often asked
are you a boy or a girl. I remember
autumn in Ohio,
emerging from giant leaf piles
greasy and untethered. I once
swallowed a small
plant on a dare, a lesson
in consumption. My feet
have always had woodchips
clinging to them, and I can still
throw my hands up while riding
a bike down a one way road.
I know freedom as the heavy
hum of the air whipping
past my ears. I would steal
so much of it, and hold it in my
lungs. I still desire so much. My
lust is stored in my belly
button, which sometimes
expands. These days, I’m as filthy
as a sweaty fist. You can often
find me pulling my eyelashes
for extra wishes, and I am always
chewing on something, maybe
it’s your blood.
What Filthy Woman Inherited
You keep trying to paint our house black so that it mourns
everything you lost in Palestine, but I keep reminding you
of the way our couch sighs each time you sit. Some mornings,
even the plasma in my blood carries your traumas. Our family
moves so much that I keep mistaking our pile of eviction notices
as home. You’ve taught me how to carry the skull of your
Palestine on my shoulders. It is a reminder that you will
always be a refugee yearning for those olive trees and I’ll
always thirst for a home within your matchbox scented breath.
Filthy Woman’s Guide on How to Hunger
- Stop apologizing.
- Want nothing to do with gentleness, even as she unbuckles your belt,
ppppeven as the sound of your voice becomes your mother’s sinking shoulders.
- Remember: Every pull is a prayer if you mean it enough.
ppppEvery thrust can or cannot be a longing.
- Allow your tongue to move inside of her.
- When she asks you what’s the Arabic word for hunger? watch as she wraps her fingers around your neck.
- Let her call you a good girl because you need someone to remind you how hard you are trying to be good at anything.
- When you go home that night, hair unkempt, body bruised, search for the scarf she unwrapped from your neck.
- Make a bonfire out of want.